Grief Support

Grief is a journey.

No matter how or when, losing someone you love is very painful. If you have never grieved before you may experience emotions very new to you. Even if you have grieved before, each loss may trigger different emotions you did not have prior. While grieving you may experience shock, guilt, anger, sadness, loneliness or depression. These feelings can be overwhelming but by slowly accepting them, you will allow yourself to start the healing process. Each person grieves differently in coping with loss and pain. There is no right or wrong, there is no time frame and grief has to run its course.

Saying a meaningful "goodbye" to a loved one is the beginning of the healing process. Grief is a journey. Some people feel better in a week, some in months or for some, years. Do not compare yourself to others because grief depends on many factors such as your personality, your relationship with the deceased, the nature of the loss, your faith, your life experience and community support. The most important part is to be patient and caring to yourself.

Psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross introduced "five stages of grief":
1. Denial – "This can't be true, this can't be happening to me!"
2. Anger – "Why is this happening? Why me?"
3. Bargaining – "Make this happen, and I promise I will…"
4. Depression – " I can't do anything. I am too sad to do anything"
5. Acceptance – "I accept what happened. I am at peace…"

But not everyone goes through all these stages, some might skip one or two, and some resolve grief without going through any of the stages. Once we lose someone our life will never be the same. The death of the person touches many people, for some it is a spouse, a daughter, a neighbor, a friend or a coworker. Moving forward we have to accept the loss of the person in our life.

Common Symptoms of grief:

1. Shock
2. Sadness
3. Anger
4. Fear
5. Guilt
6. Loneliness
7. Physical symptoms such as fatigue, nausea, weight loss, insomnia, aches and pains.

Coping with grief:

1. Do not grief alone – get support, turn to friends, family, support groups or even therapist or grief counselor.
2. Take care of yourself. Your life goes on, by taking care of your physical and emotional needs you will help yourself get through this difficult time
3. Don't let other to tell you how you feel. Do not tell yourself how to feel.
4. Plan ahead for times called grief "triggers" such as upcoming holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. You will be sharing many events without the person you lost. Plan to honor the person you loved, reminisce about good memories.
5. Express your feelings by writing a journal, create a photo album celebrating the person's life, write a poem, plan memorial days.

Please know that while it takes time, the journey of grief does end and evolves to become one of memories that will always be treasured and endeared. Your loved one will live on in these memories and in your heart.